The One With The New Guy
by B.Stryker
Summary: What happens when a new face infiltrates the tight clique of everyone' favorite gang? How will he react to their quirkiness? And how will they react to his own brand of madness?


"So Marcel wakes me up, throw the banana in my face, and then slaps me. I swear my monkey never sleeps." Ross Geller said as the gang entered Central Perks, their usual coffee hang out.

"You know they have pill for that." Chandler Bing said in his usual sarcastic manner.

"Ug, they have pills for everything. That's why I don't trust medicines." Phoebe Buffay said sitting down on the couch.

"Yes cause the best help is from a guy in a tent with a bone through his nose." Chandler added.

Phoebe gave Chandler a half smile as his wit while funny wasn't something always appreciated.

"Ross, I just don't see why you don't put him in a cage at night." Monica asked her brother.

"Cause, that's cruel. He spent most of his time in a cage why would I subject him to that?" Ross asked.

That was when Joey Tribbiani walked in. He was followed by another man a few years younger then the rest of the crew.

"Hey guys, I want you to meet Brian. He's my wife's lover." Joey said introducing the gang to him.

"And they say you can't find people here in New York." Chandler joked.

"No in the play. I found him sleeping with my wife, so I shove him out a window." Joey said back.

"Excessive but warranted." Chandler said.

"It's nice to meet you Brian." Monica said smiling.

"Thanks, I just moved here so it's nice to meet people. At least nice people. I had a hobo pee on me when I got off the bus this morning." Brian said pulling up a chair and sitting down.

"No that' just New York's welcoming committee." Chandler said.

"Where you from originally?" Ross asked.

"New Jersey." Brian said earning a small 'oh' from everyone. "What? What's wrong with New Jersey?"

"Beside the fact it's New Jersey?" Joey asked.

"Hey I'm from south New Jersey. All the greatness of New Jersey with half the calories." Brian said sipping his coffee.

"So you're an actor?" Phoebe asked with a smile.

"Yeah but it's just something to pay bills. My true job is being a magician." Brian said earning a laugh from everyone. "Hey! Magic is a viable career."

"Yeah if you're a creepy guy with a mustache!" Ross said.

"Alright Mr. Magic. Show us a trick then." Rachel asked with a sense of child like excitement.

"Okay. Guess I can do something." Brian said pulling out a deck of cards. "Okay Ross, since you called me creepy, take a card." He added fanning out the cards for Ross.

Ross gave a half smile as he decided to humor the new guy and take a card. He gives it a look as Brian shuffles the cards and cuts them. Ross puts his card back in the deck.

"Alright Magic, what's my card?" He asked in that very Ross tone.

"Oh I'm not gonna tell you." Brian said placing the deck on the table. He moves everything out of harms way as he pulls out a lighter. He flicks on the flame and holds it against the deck setting it on fire.

The gang all gasped in surprise as they watched the cards burn up into ashes. Brian grabbed a coffee and poured it onto the fire, putting it, leaving nothing but ashes on the table.

"Uh...so there's a bit of a problem..." Brian said digging around the ashes hoping Ross's card survived the trick, like it was supposed to.

"Nice trick." Ross joked grabbing his muffin. He took a bite and his face turned blue as he started to cough. Monica smacked his back as he coughed up a single card. Brian grabbed the card and looked at it.

"What was that card Ross?" Brian asked.

"5 of spades." Ross said meekily.

Brian looked at the card one more time and smiled as he placed the card on the table showing it was the 5 of spades. The gang laughed and applauded the trick as Brian smirked out witting the crew.

"How did you do that?" Phoebe asked looking at the card.

"Like Rachael said, I'm ." Brian replied scooping the ashes into a trash bin.

"So do all your trick involve fire?" Monica asked as Gunther, the waiter, glared at the smoldering pile.

"No only the ones that I do to impress girls in bed. My sheet budget is huge by the way." Brian joked sitting back.

The gang laughed as Joey checked his watch.

"Who, Brian we gotta go. We have to be back for the measuring of the costumes." He said grabbing his coat.

"Right behind ya Joey." Brian said getting up. "Nice meeting you all. Hope we can set more things on fire again."

With that goodbye, Brian followed Joey out the door as the gang all waved.

"He seemed nice. Ruined my muffin but he's nice." Ross said looking at his muffin making sure it was card free again.

"Yeah. I'd like to make some magic with him." Phoebe said nibbling on her hair, looking at the door.

"Pheeb! You just met the guy!" Monica said playfully slapping Phoebe's arm.

"What? He's hot!" Phoebe said smiling.

"And way younger then us." Chandler said.

"So? He's only like 22. Monica dated that 17 year old remember?" Phoebe said bringing up the old boyfriend.

"Got you there Mon." Ross said earning a glare.

"So wait, you're telling me that it's an adam's apple for everyone? Not a Joey's Apple?" Joey asked as he and Brian walked up the steps of Joey's apartment.

"For the 100th time. Yes!" Brian said getting tired of explaining the properties of an Adams Apple.

Joey held up is hands in the 'Alright I get it' pose as he opened Monica's door and walked in. The entire gang there as usual.

"Hey Joey." Monica said from the kitchen as he scurried back and forth preparing dinner.

"Hey I invited Brian along if that's okay?" Joey asked as Brian waved.

"Oh that's no problem." Phoebe said answer quickly completely ignoring any chance for Monica to answer.

Brian gave Monica an apologetic look as he walked to the window.

"Oh my god! There's a ugly naked guy doing hot yoga across the street!" He said pointing. What was weird was everyone came over and looked before going about their business as normal. "Okay then."

"So how's the play coming?" Monica asked placing a large bowl of pasta .

"It's incredible! They brought this entire special effects team for the final scene." Joey said sitting down.

"Yeah for you. I gotta get thrown 10 feet. They figured out how to raise the stage so now the scene where I'm thrown through a window drop me 10 feet to a pad."

"Sound dangerous." Ross added as they began to eat.

"Eh it's sugar glass so you know totally safe." Brian said rolling his eyes not thrilled with the idea.

"So um...what else do you do? I mean with the magic and all?" Phoebe asked giving Brian a huge smile.

"Oh. Basic card stuff. Mind reading. That sort." Brian said.

"Please like you can actually read minds." Ross said laughing nerviously.

"Now why would you say that? Are you still hung up on finding out your wife was a lesbian?" Brian asked.

"How...how did you know that?" Ross asked.

"Mind reader." Brian said tapping his temple as everyone else held back a laugh.

After dinner was over every sat around the coffee table just...talking. That was something Brian wasn't used to. Maybe it was the fact most of his friend back home were all into drinking, but this was a huge change of pace.

"Well this has been great but I gotta skedaddle. Roommate hates it when I wake him from his 8 hour hydro sleep." Brian said standing up, getting confused looks from the others. "Don't even ask."

"Night!" Everyone said a Brian waved goodbye and left.

"So Phoebe. Still wanna bang the new guy?" Chandler asked out of the blue.

"What Brian?" Joey asked.

"No the new guy with the eye patch who lives in the apartment below us." Chandler remarked.

"I don't know. I got the feeling he's swinging from the other side of the plate." Joey said cautiously.

"And what makes you think that?" Phoebe asked annoyed that Joey was already calling a potential boyfriend gay.

"We've been rehearsing this play for 2 weeks and he hasn't once hit on any of the actresses." Joey said in a matter of fact tone.

"So because of that, you think he's gay." Ross said shaking his head.

"Only explanation right?" Joey asked sitting back.

"Well I'm gonna prove you wrong! Just you see!"


End file.
